Posts Tagged ‘VH1’

News just broke that Oscar winner, Obama darling, Dreamgirl, and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson is engaged to her boyfriend of less than a year, David Otunga. While Otunga may not sound too familiar, maybe the name “Punk” rings a bell. Yep, J-Hud’s fiance was a former contestant on I Love New York 2.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he’s a nice guy and they probably have loads in common considering they’re both from Chicago and they’ve survived reality shows. But with an Academy Award on her mantle, a budding film career and a new album dropping soon, Jennifer Hudson seems poised for stardom and her future hubby well…doesn’t.

So let’s do our girl a favor and offer up some suggestions for potential mates. Sure she’s engaged, but like my man Michael Scott says, “BFD, engaged ain’t married.”

Here are my three picks for eligible fellas:

  • Kanye West: He’s from Chicago too! He may be kind of a short fuse but most genius’ are. Pros: He’s bright, has great clothes, brilliant artist (possibility for duets?) Cons: He’s always on tour, he’s an awful blogger and did we mention that short fuse?
  • Jason from The Bachelorette: If dating show rejects are J-Hud’s thing, then look no further than Jason. He was left down on one knee on the last season of The Bachelorette. Cue one giant case of the weepies. Pros: Adorable, great dad to that little son of his. Cons: Already committed to serve as next Bachelor…may be committing for his affections with 15 other ladies.
  • My brother Chris: He has ambition, he cooks, he owns a condo, and guess where he was born? Chi-Town! Pros: Marrying someone out of the spotlight could give her a nice repreive. Cons: I would never stop requesting that she sing songs from Dreamgirls.

Anyone else have some good suggestions? What’s that Prince William up to? That quarterback for USC was pretty hot yesterday when he trounced Ohio State. Someone fax his number to Hudson’s people…stat!

Photo: rap-up.com

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I missed the 9 PM John Adams so I have to wait for the West Coast feed at 11. So far, its been a very long wait. The worst part? I will probably fall asleep before the 90 minute installment ends. What better to occupy my time than writing to all of you?

  • If you loved the return of Comedy Night Done Right (I’m personally still tied to Must See TV) then why not take home the merchandise? Now you can own your very own Serenity By Jan candles (including a Bottled Water scent) or a MILF Island t-shirt. Better question? Why haven’t they started selling a Michael Scott edition of the George Foreman Grill
  • Viva Hollywood, a reality show about Latino actors competing for a starring role on a telenovela, premiered today. I saw an airing this afternoon and while it’s not as fun to watch if you don’t know telenovela conventions or stars, the drama is still there. Plus one of the wannabes drinks a lot, one isn’t there to make friends and the rest of the girls are slutty. It’s pretty much just like every other reality show.
  • Desperate Housewives returned to the air tonight. The show was awful last season and was in the middle of a fantastic comeback before the Strike. Hopefully the break didn’t slow their roll and the ladies will be funnier than ever. My secret hope? They take risks without being crazy.
  • There’s a new sitcom premiering on My Network TV tomorrow. It’s about an ex-con who moves into his uptight brother’s house. It’s called Under One Roof. It stars Flava Flav and I will watch it so you don’t have to. It’s the least I can do for you.

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I Know These Parents Are Flippin’ Nuts

I’ve been watching I Know My Kid’s A Star on VH1 for a few weeks now. It’s a reality competition show about stage parents and their children. The parents are judged alongside their children by host Danny Bonaduce (kind of scary) and tough-as-nails casting director Marki Costello (love her!).

The show would be pretty run of the mill and fall way below the radar (see: Showbiz Moms and Dads) if it weren’t for the completely wacked out parents. It is like watching Intervention if the drug of choice is attention. Their neuroses are alarming, even disturbing at times. For the most part, the mothers (they got rid of the dads in the first two episodes) are well intentioned but a few are just trying to re-live their glory days. Or more like ” I almost made it..in Tupelo…maybe” days.

Take a gander at my favorite mom Rocky:


This show exposed what we always thought to be true about some die-hard families in the entertainment industry. Like life, not every family on the show is nuts, but those that aren’t, don’t look poised to take home the crown. Bad lessons? Probably. Fun TV? Sadly yes.

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Cycle 10 of America’s Next Top Model premieres tonight! I usually only watch the show while I’m hungover in its marathon form on VH1 but after missing all of cycle 9, I’d like to get in on the ground floor. It’s been too long since I’ve seen young, bitchy girls back stab each other. Not that all models are mean by nature, but I do think a majority of them are hungry and tired so they’re a bit more likely to get a case of the grumpies.

Wondering what some of the Top Models have been up to since they left Tyra’s loving embrace? Entertainment Weekly put together a slideshow with some of the fan favorites. (Naima’s in a band with her boyfriend. He looks exactly like you think he would.) I’ll post the link when I get a hold of it.

And sidenote: For the reality-TV minded ladies out there without DVRs, where will your loyalties lie tonight? Will you watch the Top 12 women sing for their lives on American Idol or will you watch the premiere of ANTM? Between tonight’s TV choices, and picking a presidential candidate, it’s been a hard year for the fairer sex so far.

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Things I Wish Were TV Shows

New Kids on the Block are getting back together and going on a reunion tour. The has-been status, no one recognizing them at the airport, the shitty hotels, former fans with kids, old women throwing underwear on stage…the possibilities are endless.

They have jobs and kids, families to go back to now. I bet they can’t sing as well as they used to either. That first tune-up is probably going to be rough. Why can’t we all be there to witness it?

Dear Producers,
If you can greenlight some of the most ridiculous shows on television, please contact NKOTB and get the wheels in motion. VH1 has room in their schedule.



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Casting All Crazies!

Want to break into reality TV? There are lots of opportunities out there and all of them crossed my desk in the past day. All five of you get to reap the benefits.

VH1 is casting young people to compete for the job of a life time…P. Diddy’s personal assistant. What?? You saw how he treated his would-be talent when he made the Making The Band kids traverse New York to get him cheesecake. Imagine what his personal assistant will have to do? Those people are gluttons for punishment, scary go-getters, or fuckin’ nuts.

This is so VH1. I guess they’re also starting a show called Celebracadra. Guess what that’s about.

My very favorite reality show of all time is coming back and casting as I write. There are open calls in Austin, Chicago, L.A., Nashville, NYC, and Philly. Or you can make a tape. I seriously might audition. I would have to be the Mole though. I just don’t think I’m observant enough to compete.

But if none of those pique your interest, go ahead and apply for My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad. I wish I were kidding.

I want scripted TV back. Now.

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Things I Forgot Existed: Divas Live

Nothing says vacation like discussing old television specials. On the docket? Divas Live.

Remember this? A bunch of aging biddies singing show tunes and their pop favorites. The first concert was pretty classy but the it only got worse from their.

People that probably shouldn’t have been invited to Divas Live:

  • Cindy Lauper
  • RuPaul
  • Shania Twain

Thinking about that just made my day. What’s next on the docket? Remember Say What Karaoke? We could be here all night.

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I missed you guys on Monday. Not too much happening this week or last because of the holiday. Talks are stilled virtually stalled out. It’s not looking good.

  • Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are returning to the air on January 7th, without writers.
  • The WGA granted a waiver to the Spirit Awards. Awesome. Since the Oscars and Golden Globes will suck, hopefully people will watch the show honoring indie films and some up-and-comers will get the credit and audience they deserve.
  • Tiffany Pollard (pictured), a.k.a. VH1’s New York, got engaged to that dude that won I Love New York 2. Expect more ridiculous marriages based on shitty reality shows should the strike continue.

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Escape Into TV This Holiday Season

Every holiday, television networks work very hard to attract viewers and retain them when their days off are over. The best way to do this is with marathons. Nothing says, “Please watch my channel” like a non-stop block of Cops. These marathons are also awesome for testing the waters on a new show or having a ham coma on the couch.

So in case you feel like tuning in, here are the best and worst marathons on TV the next few days:

  • TNT is airing a mini-marathon of ER holiday episodes. ER recognized the importance of the fall finale long before that term existed. These episodes represent some of the best dramatic television of the mid to late nineties. The episodes start Christmas Eve Morning. If nothing else, make time for Hindsight, one of my favorite ERs ever at 1:35 pm CST.
  • A&E is airing several episodes of Cold Case Files. This show is kind of intense, but well made. If you’re into crime shows, might I suggest the Christmas marathons of Cold Case, Monk or CSI:Miami. Brighter colors, cheesier dialogue and less talk about dead children, at least real ones. The latter marathons are on TNT, USA and A&E respectively. Old school CSI is also in marathon form on Spike…but you’ll have to sit through their commercials which leave a lot to be desired.
  • The History Channel is running an all-day tribute to UFOs. Don’t ask me how it relates to history. Last week they aired Forest Gump. I think they’re running out of content. Anyway, it’s a bunch of different shows which is a refreshing innovation to the marathon. You can see Deep Sea UFOS, UFO Hunters, and Beyond War of the Worlds. Just nerdy enough to be cool.
  • And if you feel like hating yourself this Christmas, you can tune in to The Hills marathon on MTV or the Countdown one (100 Greatest Reality Moments, 100 Greatest songs of the ’80s) on VH1. Please don’t watch this. Just don’t give in to the temptation and subject yourself to irrelevant people pretending to be relevant talking about ridiculous things…and that’s just on VH1.
  • The best marathon of all starts on the evening of the 24th with 24 Hours of A Christmas Story. For several years in a row, my favorite gift has been this marathon. It’s hilarious, heart-felt and bundled up in tradition, just like Randy in a snowsuit. And unlike most movies, I really can watch it over and over again. It has some kind of magic power.

And now you have something to do over Christmas Eve and Christmas. Well, outside of family stuff. For some of you, instead of family stuff. And for my chosen friends out there, you just get to enjoy the spoils.

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Hump Day Updates!

  • I finally watched The Salt-N-Pepa Show on VH1. Needless to say, I can finally confirm that I much prefer SWV.

  • Lindsay Lohan is back in fashion…magazines that is. Rumor has it she’s doing a three episode arc on Ugly Betty. I would be all over that. Before she was washed out and frail she was a pretty good actress. Plus, any scene with Vanessa Williams and Li-Lo would be a nice clash of the divas.

  • The CMA Awards are on live and direct from Nashville. I tried to watch, but the second I flipped it on, a mustachioed man was singing about how, “God must be busy.” I don’t even want to know what he’s talking about.

  • The 8th and final season of Full House was released on DVD yesterday. Don’t act like you’re not sad. It’s truly the end of an era.

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America’s Most Smartest Model got it right. The new reality series on VH1 doesn’t take it self too seriously, but they found a group of people who do.

The show pits 16 co-ed models in competitions to prove who is not only great at posing, walking doing model-y things but also who can spell the designer brands they’re doing it in. Having guys and gals in the house is a great twist that doubles the drama and great out of context quotes. (Sassy model Jesse is going to get his own show out of this. He’s flippin’ hilarious)

The contestants are smarter than you’d think. Most of them have have bachelor’s degrees from pretty good schools and one is working on his dissertation. They are a pretty credentialed bunch and their portfolios are pretty impressive. One guy, Pickel (his last name) has worked with GQ, Acura, and all sorts of high class brands.

But nothing compares to Andre (pictured). Hailing from Russia, Andre is the one of the only non-Americans on the show. He is passionate to a fault, but it’s comic gold for the rest of us. He went on a rampage about how modeling is a higher calling than acting. I quote:

I live in Time Square. I have a $6000 apartment. I have a rare dog. I have a gorgeous girl. I’m here for one simple reason: to prove [to] people that models aren’t stupid.

If he had said, “and I drive a dodge stratus!” it would’ve sealed the deal. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m only 1/3 through the first episode (it’s 90 minutes) and I’m hooked.

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America’s Next Top Model is BACK! You may think it never went away, as I did, when everytime I flipped on VH1 or MTV there were reruns of the past million plus episodes. But yes, have no fear, TYRA is back on her game. What can I really say about the first few episodes? I did love that they brought on a girl with a serious disability, which they play up as much as possible. classy. And when Chantal (practically identical twin to Trishelle from RW: Vegas…dirty) cried because the view from their house was too pretty not to. Hmmm. Also, when Mila couldn’t stop laughing hysterically when seeing her “cancer look”. yes, mila, that’s hysterical. thankfully…spoiler…she got the boot! I love Jay saying she just couldn’t connect with the true emotions. Sure Jay, that’s it. But my favorite moment of late comes from the wonderful “hoochie” scene in which Tyra tries to differentiate between sexy and hoochie. yep, that happened. It’s gonna be a great season!

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