Posts Tagged ‘Saved By The Bell’

This morning, I purchased this beauty:

This noir-inspired work of genius comes courtesy of Mike Mitchell (you can also find him on twitter @sirmitchell). He did the piece for the Parks & Rec panel at Paley Fest. The poster is a limited edition so if you’re at all interested in purchasing one, I’d do it sooner than later.

If TV’s funniest comedy isn’t your style, Gallery 1988 also has a few other gorgeous pieces of boob-tube inspired art. Check out a few of them below.

Mork & Mindy

True Blood


Saved By The Bell


You can purchase any of these for me. My birthday is in August. I promise to act surprised.

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So apparently Dennis Haskins (better known to everyone as Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell) is making an appearance at a bar here in Kansas City on Thursday night. Celebrity appearances at bars and clubs aren’t totally out of the ordinary. In fact, LeBron James will be at a club  just down the street from Haskins on the same night.

But what’s so sad about this one? First, he’s appearing at The Tengo Sed Cantina. According to their website it’s a  “…Mexican style party bar where Cancun meets Kansas City.” I love KC, but that sounds like hell on earth. Second, the only reason I can think of that a bar would have an event like this, is essentially so mid-to-late 20 somethings can come to the bar to meet, greet, and mock Mr. Belding. What a sad state of affairs. Dennis Haskins went from “working-actor” to “sideshow act at a crappy theme bar.”

It doesn’t mean he’s not loving it. (And the picture above makes me think he really is.) His 9-5 now involves getting drunk with 20-somethings. But for a near-60-year-old-man it just seems a little sad.

Image: sunsblog.com

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I’m watching A Charlie Brown Christmas. Everytime I watch this, I think about having a son and naming him Linus.

Lucy: You think you’re so smart with that blanket. What are you gonna do with it when you grow up?

Linus: Maybe I’ll make it into a sportcoat.

You tell her Linus! Don’t let anyone change you.

On to the updates.

  • This guy guessed the EXACT PRICE of his Showcase on the Price Is Right today. The exact price folks. It hasn’t happened since 1972. Despite this, Drew Carrey appeared unimpresed. Even the other contestant freaked out a bit. I think she was mad because on any other day she would’ve won by a landslide.
  • Britney Spears went Christmas Caroling with Ellen. It was pretty hilarious. I’m glad she’s keeping it together for those little ones of hers.
  • 27 years later, police have finally uncovered the mystery behind the murder of Adam Walsh, the  son of America’s Most Wanted host John Walsh. The murderer? Ottis Toole, a serial killer who died behind bars in 1996.
  • I love a good talk-show debate on gay marriage and boy have there been some good ones lately. Melissa Etheridge proverbially bitch slapped Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View today and Jon Stewart had a great discussion with  Mike Huckabee on The Daily Show last week.
  • Where do you find America’s teen sweethearts after dark? Hanging out with fans at a local sex toy shop. Stay tuned for High School Musical 4: F’ It, Let’s Just Have Sex Already.
  • And one more thing: Peter Falk (best known as Columbo) has Alzheimer’s disease.
  • Oh, and finally my Favorite Non-TV Related Link of the Week: Sporcle.com, officially the best time waster on the internet.

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I am sitting at my parents’ house watching one of my all time favorites, How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Not that blasphemous Jim Carrey movie, but the old cartoon with the vocal stylings of Boris Karloff. The singing, the beady eyes, the little dog Max loaded down with gifts…all of it signals in my holiday season.

But here’s the rub; It’s November 16.

I consider myself a apart of the “Sooner The Better” camp. When I was younger, the build-up of the holiday season was to get to Christmas. Now, the fun is in the build-up itself. I can take or leave Christmas Day, but if you cut out my 4-6 weeks of carols, specials, cookies and theme parties, I will cut you.

Thanksgiving is historically the beginning of the Christmas season, but commercialism has pushed it up a little earlier. Four weeks wasn’t enough Saturdays for doorbusters, megasales and the like. So they jumped the shark and started the season right after Halloween. Can you blame them?

So with early shopping comes early everything. My local radio station is already on 24/7 Christmas music, and the Saved By The Bell episode where they take-in the homeless girl came on earlier last week. This lead me to more Christmas specials which brought me here…to my parents’ house…watching The Grinch.

What do you think folks? When should these holiday shows start-up? Is Thanksgiving too late to start all the fun or is it absurd to be watching anything Santa prior to the carving of a turkey?

Image: http://www.alexross.com

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I fucking love Saved By The Bell. I use love in present tense because my crush on Zach Morris has yet to end.

And it looks like it won’t anytime soon thanks to this. Dustin Diamond, aka Samuel “Screech” Powers, is writing a tell-all book about the goings-on behind the scenes of Saved By The Bell.

Behind The Bell (I know, best title ever right?) will detail the casts’ sexual exploits, boozing, and (cross your fingers) drug use, and not those lame caffeine pills either.

I know what you’re thinking: This is awesomely awful. You want so badly to hate this idea, but yet you can’t wait to read it on your next vacation. I will be buying five copies. One for me, and four more for my next few gift occasions. Nothing says “Happy Birthday Grandma” like a chapter on Belding doing lines off a hooker’s stomach.

Photo: Katfm.com

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Slater Wrote A Book?!

Not Slater so much as Mario Lopez. Everyone’s favorite game show host and resident Bayside stud recently co-authored a guidebook to sculpting the perfect body.

There’s no denying Mario has a great body, and he is the last of the Saved By The Bell set actually doing something. (No, I refuse to count Elizabeth Berkley, new Bravo show and all).

And apparently I’m only 6 weeks away from my best body ever. If I do his plan twice, won’t I be able to improve on my best body ever? It’s like an MC Escher painting.

Maybe I’m cynical. But I just got a little chuckle when I heard he wrote a book. Any thoughts on this people?

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Ask Elizabeth, But Only If You Have To

Everyday I find another reason to get down on my knees and thank the good lord for GMail. Today is no exception.

While checking my messages today I saw a sponsored advertisement for a website called Ask-Elizabeth. It’s a resource for tween and teen girls to learn more about peer pressure, body image, friendships, health, boys, etc. They can ask anonymous questions and swap stories with girls everywhere. And you’ll never guess which beacon of Girl Power is bringing this site straight to browsers everywhere…Elizabeth Berkley.

Yes, that Elizabeth Berkley, Jessie ” Caffeine Addict, oil-derrick bound, long-skirt cheerleader” Spano from Saved By The Bell. You may also remember her from a little movie called Showgirls. Nothing says “I am committed to making a positive impact on young girls around the world” like a DVD Box set that comes with pasties.

I may joke, but I do applaud Berkley for devoting so much time to this endeavor. Resources for young ladies have come a long way since Gurl (Remember that anybody? You may have checked your first e-mail on it while you read your Delia’s catalog). Anyway, it’s just funny that young women are looking to Elizabeth Berkley for guidance. Jessie Spano may have been a better choice. At least she got into Stanford.

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I love 10-Day forecasts from the Weather Channel. Other than checking in for my flight, it is my favorite online pre-travel activity. Today I discovered my airplane will be arriving in the middle of scattered snow showers! Snow in the forecast means some great things:

  • Holiday specials on TV (The homeless father and daughter on Saved By The Bell anyone?)
  • I can bring my “Sleigh Bell Grande” playlist out of hiding
  • The return of my snowman earrings
  • My favorite SNL holiday sketch ever is now in heavy rotation on my computer, much to the dismay of anyone coming close to me from now until New Years.

It begins! Enjoy!

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Last night I went to see Frank Warren, creater of PostSecret, speak at a local bookstore. He was reverent, funny and passionate about the project. I felt a sense of warmth and community just sitting in the room. Sitting in a room of fans, at a concert, bookreading, speech, etc. is a one of a kind feeling. It’s hard to duplicate that overwhelming sense of commonality.

I bought Warren’s newest compilation, “A Lifetime of Secrets.” I thumbed through the pages and searched through the artwork. I was reminded that if I ever turned in one of these postcards, I would be more self-conscious about my chubby-fingered artwork than the secret itself. A few pages in, I saw one that caught my eye. Not the piecemeal collage, or the faded type. The secret itself yelled into my face.

“TV lied to me about how life would be.”

Cut out pictures of the cast of Saved By The Bell and Buffy the Vampire Slayer graced the card. Saved By The Bell (and a jillion other teen shows), lied to me too. I think it decieved a lot of small children. We wanted to befriend the principal, play 8 different sports, have a friend group we could constantly pluck romantic interests from, be the class clown. They neglected to talk about the awful parts of high school. Rejection, depression, loneliness. I was ill prepared for that part.

But who is to blame? The good people at SBTB, who just wanted to make money shilling neon green tank tops and giant cellular phones? Me, for believing it was all too real? My folks for setting my brother and I in front of the TV on Saturday mornings while they made breakfast? All of us? I’ve spent the last 24 hours wondering. Who am I and what have I become, what have I experienced as a result of a lifetime of televison misconceptions? All of this may be crazy, but it made me think.

Mission accomplished PostSecret.

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Not only do I use the sleep timer on my TV while I fall asleep, but I use the on-timer to wake up. For those of you not familiar with this device, it’s essentially a clock-television. Should my 3 cell phone alarms not do the job, at 6 AM on the nose I am woken up by series of progressively louder beeps and then TBS for the opening chords of the Saved By The Bell theme song. Other than the smell of freshly cooked bacon, it is the best way to wake up.

Last night, instead of setting the TV for TBS, I accidently set it for MTV-Hits, MTV’s annoying kid sister that only only plays shitty pop videos.

So imagine my surprise this morning when the piercing beeps weren’t the only shrill noise blasting my ear drums. Instead, the first thing I saw this morning was Britney Spears’ gyrating pelvis. Color this my worst morning in recent memory.

I don’t want anymore of that. No thank you.

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