Archive for the ‘Marry Bop or Kill?’ Category

It’s that time of week again folks!

Marry: Who’s Wedding Is It Anyway?

I’ve always been a fan of this show but over vacation its been a constant companion. Love the planners, love the bitchy brides, love the grooms who pick ugly tuxedos. It only seems right to marry this show this week.

Bop: Duane Lee, Dog The Bounty Hunter

My favorite thing about Duane Lee? He constantly mentions his Dad, (aka Dog). “My Dad said the funniest thing today,” “My Dad just kicked that guy in the teeth,” etc. We get it Duane Lee, your Dad is Dog the Bounty Hunter. Too bad 8-15 other people can say the same thing. And probaby a few dozen more who don’t know for sure.

Kill: My Pathetic TV

My brother got a new TV over the weekend and it’s flippin gorgeous. I’m pretty sure the actors/hosts/commentators are actually living inside the set. That’s the only reason I can possibly come up with as to why they’re coming in so clearly. Anyway, I came home and decided I hate my TV. It’s 19″ of non-HD crappiness. I have a little HDTV (Think Michael Scott’s bad boy in the Dinner Party episode) but it’s nothing to brag about. Once I finish up school, I am going to invest in something worth watching. I spend too much on DVDs and too much time in front of the tube to have to watch this pathetic TV. Add it to the blogolutions.

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Howdy Ho! This week was a snap.

Marry: Jason Segel

I took a vacay all last week and I spent a majority of my time truly relaxing. To that end, I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I’m knee deep into How I Met Your Mother on DVD. I started with season 1 on Friday and I’m already on the last disc of season 2. Segel shines on the silver and small screen and it’s made my vacation pretty awesome. He seems like a really genuine and funny guy. Plus he plays the piano and wants to bring back the Muppets. Love, love, love. The only sour note? He may be dating Drew Barrymore. PS: Why haven’t Segel and Michael Cera ever been cast as brothers?

Bop: John Adams

My love for HBO’s John Adams is no secret but I re-watched the first three installments with the family over the weekend and it…was…AWESOME. Haven’t seen it yet? Watch it chumps!

Kill: The Old Doc’s Returning For The Final Season of ER

I will miss ER. I used to be a pretty big fan and I’ve watched some of the episodes this season. But let it be known, not every single doctor (dead or alive?!) whos ever worked at County needs to come back to say goodbye. Case in point, no one needs to “bump into” Dr. Corday. Nobody.

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I totally thought it was Wednesday yesterday so you got your Hump Day Updates ahead of schedule. Now I am going to totally blow your mind and do Marry, Bop or Kill today. I missed last week and I’ll be out of town this weekend so I figured I owe you one. Let’s get to it!

Marry: Bob Crowley

Bob Crowley, a physics teacher from Maine, was crowned champion of Survivor: Gabon on Sunday. At 57 he’s the oldest winner and for my money, the nicest. He played the game well, but fairly. He was affable, creative (two fake immunity idols?!) and really seemed to enjoy every part of the experience. Plus he turned his buff into a bowtie. Charm isn’t dead folks.

Bop: Rhys Darby as Murray on Flight of The Conchords

Season 2 of the hilarious HBO musical-comedy premiered online at Funny or Die.com. Jemaine and Bret are outstanding as usual but the oft-forgotten shining star of this show is lowly band manager Murray Hewitt played to near perfection by Rhys Darby. Murray’s awkward quips continue to steal the show and I cannot wait to see the second episode in January. Darby is so good on FOTC I may even check out his new movie Yes Man starring Jim Carrey…or at least watch it On Demand a year from now.

Kill: Planet Hollywood – New York

Planet Hollywood invites celebrities to make handprints in cement. Which starlet just graced PH:New York with her presence? Danielle Fishel. Don’t remember her? She was Topanga on Boy Meets World. We’ve officially run out of celebrities. Who’s next? The little girl from the Pepsi commercials?

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Marry: Awful TV

I have a lot of stuff due next week which means I’ve been spending all my time procrastinating. Nothing helps me waste time more than awful television. If it’s not old re-runs Sabrina The Teenage Witch it’s the trashy ladies of The Bad Girls Club. I love quality programs and as soon as this week is over I will wonder what the hell I was thinking, but right now, I am enjoying the mind-numbing programming my boob-tube has to offer.

Bop: Adam Richman, Host of Man vs. Food**

Man vs. Food premiered this week on The Travel Channel. Host Adam Richman gets to travel to different cities across the country and take on some of America’s biggest food challenges. This week he was in Amarillo, TX where he hate a half pound burger with jalapenos and habenero sauce and a giant plate of chili fries. Then he learned how to make Chicken Fried Steak. All of this was to prepare for his food challenge: The Big Texan Steak Challenge. To win, Richman needed to eat a 72 ounce steak, a side salad, shrimp cocktail, baked potato and a roll in an hour or less. The best part about this show is that he’s not a competitive eater, just a guy who loves food…a lot. He plotted and stratagized and ended up finishing the challenge in about 30 minutes. It was borderline heroic…and made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. If that’s not someone worth bopping, then I obviously don’t know what love is.

Kill: Whoever thought of THIS.

They’re making pornogrpahic parodies of Married With Children and The Cosby Show. Nothing is sacred.

** I was this close to picking the Chicken Fried Steak as the winner of the Bop Award. This close. They sauteed it in clarified butter folks!

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Marry: Christmas Specials

I am already knee deep in Christmas movies and since it’s after Thanksgiving I no longer have to hide my enthusiasm. This weekend I watched Elf, The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2, This Christmas, White Christmas, the holiday episodes of Monk, Psych, two Christmas eps of Will & Grace and a shitty Lifetime movie called Moonlight & Mistletoe. I am a junkie for anything with sleigh bells, a tree and holiday mishaps. This season couldn’t come soon enough. Want to know when all of your favorites ( and the crappy cheesy movies) will be on? Check out ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas line-up.

Bop: No Award This Week

I have a bookmarks folder labeled “Bop” where I file away links to my nominees for this award every week.   For one reason or another, no one rose to the top this time. It’s not every week I feel like making love to my TV set or a cast of characters. Maybe the holiday season got to me…or there just wasn’t any grope-worthy television this week.

Kill: The Folks Pricing DVDs at Fox

24:Redemption is on DVD this week. Not surprising. What is shocking? The sticker price. The two-hour TV movie is retailing for $19.99. Are you kidding me? A full season of 24 retails at around $30 – $40 bucks and you can usually find it on sale for even cheaper. (All six seasons are currently $19.99 each on Amazon right now). So where do the folks at Fox get off selling an 88 minute movie for $20? Ridiculous!

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Sorry I’m late gang. Let’s get to it.

Marry: Steven Weber

He used to just be “the guy from Wings.” Now he’s playing the love interest on both Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters. It’s no small feat to be the leading man for ABC Sunday night.

Bop: Pretty Much Everybody On It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Thursday’s musical season finale tied together a string of hilarious episodes into a pretty awesome bow.

Kill: The Screen Actors Guild & The AMPTP

SAG is getting closer and closer to a strike. While I fully support actors getting paid for appearing in internet videos and other new media ventures, I just don’t think this industry can make it through another lengthy strike. Lord knows I can’t. Cross your fingers they resolve this dispute with the AMPTP.

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Marry: Bobby Moynihan

Bobby is one of the new fellas on SNL this season. Though he may get lost in the testosterone shuffle over at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, he really stood out on last night’s ep. His Snagglepuss impression was spot on (Heavens to Mergatroid!) but he finally earned his wings after last night’s dancer sketch with Justin Timberlake and Beyonce.

Bop: Jeff Probst

After the Probster won the first ever Reality TV hosting Emmy this fall, I vowed to give Survivor another shot. Not only has this season kept me entertained but Jeff Probst has yet to disappoint. His best work is actually offscreen. He blogs about every episode for Entertainment Weekly and his entries provide key insight in to the game, and his psyche. Turns out Jeff Probst is a pretty funny dude. One of those guys I wish I were friends with.

Kill: The Euro Duo on Top Chef

Did you catch the season premiere of Top Chef on Wednesday? It had some nice twists right off the bat! Getting rid of someone before they even make it to the Top Chef Kitchens?? Ballsy. But my two least favorite chefs are the Euro Duo. We get it, you’re exotic, you’re supposedly amazing, blah, blah, blah. It all getting to be too much. I’m already sick of Stefan’s attitude and that elimination win won’t help matters too much. You know you’re ego’s bad when you’re too big for American reality TV.

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Marry: Oprah

If this week confirmed anything for me it’s that anything Oprah touches, turns to gold…even things that were pretty awesome to begin with. From sobbing on Mr. Man’s shoulder during Obama’s rally in Grant Park to her wickedly wonderful guest spot on 30 Rock, Oprah’s been adding a little bit of magic to everything these days.

Bop: Jason O’Mara, of Life on Mars

Are you not watching Life on Mars? The cop-drama, the intrigue, the 70’s, it’s really a unique program. This week’s episode was no exception thanks to Mars lead Jason O’Mara. O’Mara’s character Sam and his partner are investigating a murder when they’re kidnapped by a reckless version of the Black Panthers. Sam runs his mouth and uses a little quick thinking to get out of it. Oh and if you didn’t know, Sam was hit by a car in 2008 and woke up in 1973…and roll scene:

Kill: Miguel Prado, Dexter

Jimmy Smits is doing an excellent job playing hardnosed Assistant District Attorney Miguel Prado on Dexter this season but frankly, Prado is starting to get on my nerves. He’s all up in Dexter’s business, he doesn’t know the rules about killing people, and he asks way too many questions. He’s basically an annoying kid brother and the last thing a serial killer needs is a tag-along that can’t keep up. He may be Dex’s “first true friend” but he’s getting in the way of a good storyline and some good hack-jobs. It’s time to cut him loose!

Photo: The Remote Island

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Marry: The People Who Finally Decided To Watch 30 Rock

The show’s season premiere on Thursday boasted a record 8.53 Million viewers. Welcome to the fold new fans. I thought the episode was only so-so, but this news gets me going again.

Bop: Tivo & Netflix

The two are teaming up to bring Tivo/Netflix subscribers 12,000 titles right to that little set-top box. There is nothing sexier than being able to watch  whenever I damn well want.

Kill: Tyra Banks

Hey single ladies and gents! Tyra wants you to blog about what it’s like to be single in the city. Write hilarious anecdotes about your dating exploits, share your darkest secrets for Tyra public to see. But hey, she won’t be able to pay you and she’ll probably use your free, witty content for fodder on her show. JSYK.

Photo: geeksugar.com

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Week 2 of Marry, Bop or Kill is going to be a doozy. So much good TV to celebrate.

Marry: Jon Hamm

I was pretty sure I wanted to marry Jon Hamm after his quick guest spot on a Gilmore Girls episode a few years back, but last night only solidified my resolve. Hamm hosted SNL last night and did a truly wonderful job. He was suave, funny and incorporated some awesome Mad Men moments, (including guest appearances by John Slattery and Elisabeth Moss). It was refreshing to see a really gifted actor take over the hosting spot because it took all of the sketches up a notch.

Boff: Linday Lohan on Ugly Betty

Lindsay Lohan returned to Ugly Betty this week and guess what? She didn’t suck, not even a little. Lohan reprised her role as Kimmie Kegan, Betty’s arch nemesis, and hilarity ensued. It kind of makes you wonder: If Lohan’s movies are no longer making money, why doesn’t she make the jump to the small screen for awhile to re-build her cache? She doesn’t necessarily have to do it with Betty but she’s off to a surprisingly good start. You can catch some of her finer moments here.

Kill: The Time Delay on Amazing Race

CBS, you know football games tend to run long. Please schedule your programming accordingly and factor in this delay. There’s no excuse to have 60 Minutes start 45 minutes late, thus pushing back the start of  Amazing Race to 7:45. Since you’ve decided not to stream Amazing Race online, the show has to be viewed live, a pretty serious inconvenience for those of us with full Sunday TV dockets. I know it may be in your best interest to make us sit through 60 Minutes and all of the advertisments on Amazing Race, but seriously people, it’s starting to get ridiculous.

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(Hey folks, glad you found this post. We’re having some moving problems. Thanks for staying with us during the switch.)

So it’s Saturday and I’m starting a new feature. That’s what new blogs are for folks.

This one’s been on my mind since a fateful episode of 30 Rock when the cast was playing everyone’s favorite game: Marry, Bop, or Kill. Bop of course being the delightful euphemism for that unsavory F-Word.

The idea fell into the recesses of my mind until Defamer began running a similar feature called Watch, Tivo, or Kill. I plan on doing them one better and sticking with the game’s original title.

Everyweek, I’ll provide the characters, episodes, shows, actors, or actresses, I want to Marry, Bop or Kill for the week. How do you make love to a television episode? I haven’t figured that out just yet. One step at a time.

Here’s this week’s results:

Marry: Seth Meyers of SNL

Meyers has been head writer for SNL since 2005 and now he’s finally getting the credit he so rightfully deserves. People are quick to champion his work on the political sketches this season, but the non-political stuff has been super under-rated. Mark Wahlberg talks to animals? The Boat Ride? There’s some solid work being lost in the shuffle.

Meyers is also taking home my first Marry title because I caught an old episode of SNL this week and he did a remarkable job as Anderson Cooper. Anyone who can pull off that faint, elitist accent gets a vote in my book.

Bop: This week’s episode of Greek, “The Popular Vote”

As I’ve mentioned previously, this show is very well-done and is one of the better teen/college comedies on television…ever. However, this week’s episode was surprising, witty, full of pop culture references and nothing if not slightly dramatic. I was watching it on my DVR and kept checking how much time was left because I seriously didn’t want it to end. If you’re not watching Greek get over yourself and give it a chance. The writing is getting sharper and sharper every week and I’ll be sad to see this cycle end on October 28.

Kill: Baseball & Political Debates

Two of my current favorites were pre-empted this week due to politcal debates and baseball playoffs. Are both important? I suppose so. Would I have rather watched Private Practice? Heck yes.

Photo: http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/

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