She liked this one. I much preferred hers.
“Everybody knows I’m a motherfuckin’ Mormon.”
So we’ve been through a few episodes of SKINS: America since our last g-chat convo post. There are many reasons for this. Mostly, the show has been a buzz kill and I’m not happy about it. However, being such a loyal fan of the original and also being super into teen angst lately, I’ve decided to stick with it and my blogging partner is standing by my side. So here it is, folks:
Slamwich: Five minutes! Ready the witticisms!
Ediddy: haha. we’re literally gonna watch it LIVE
Slamwich: Can I get a what-what for technology?
Ediddy: raising my roofs
Slamwich: I’m watching the tail end of Jersey Shore on mute. I hate how much these kids get paid? Why did I go to college?
Ediddy: haha, theyre gross. ALL RIGHT
Slamwich: Yay! I hope Sweater Vest doesn’t ruin everything
Ediddy: all we have is hope
Slamwich: In the previously on skins, I hear lines from the other episodes that I totally missed.
Ediddy: haha, yea… the plot all of sudden makes sense?
Slamwich: The episodes look better
Ediddy: haha yes, so far good
Slamwich: someone described the kids on this show as looking malnourished
Ediddy: daisys boobs make another appearance
Slamwich: They should win best supporting actress in a drama
Slamwich: Wouldn’t they give him his clothes back?
Ediddy: we’ve maxed out on silliness
Slamwich: What kind of Canada is this?
Slamwich: So everyone likes Tea right? Is there anyone on the show that doesn’t?
Slamwich: FURIOUS TONY IS FURIOUS!
Ediddy: yea she gets around, shes very likable
Slamwich: And I continue to hate every adult on this show
Ediddy: yea. im loving the weed butt conversation
Slamwich: It’s nice to be reminded that they are in fact high school boys
Ediddy: right, yea
Ediddy: and we’re back!
Slamwich: Who is this asshole? People like this don’t exist in real life.
Ediddy: yea this is dumb. again
Slamwich: They could save this right now if one of the kids got killed by a moose
Ediddy: hahahahahah a whole new turn for SKINS: America
Slamwich: Daisy knows a lot about bears. And why shouldn’t she? That’s logical for a 16 year old girl from Baltimore
Slamwich: Is that Betty? Was her name Betty? She’s in the class?
Ediddy: yea, shes been in a few eps, im glad they didnt drop her
Slamwich: Me too. I hope she gets to talk.
Ediddy: im sure tea will bone some boys before she and betty bone again though
Slamwich: As long as it’s not Tony again. Too much.
Ediddy: oh chris and his ghetto speak
Slamwich: That fade is the most accurate thing on this show
Ediddy: HA. the girls are good. the boys are bad.
Slamwich: It should be the girls and Chris. He can stay.Yes! Betty! Well that was brief
Ediddy: hahahaha. that was great. more stuff like that and im back on the skins bus
Slamwich: Exactly. Maybe Sweater Vest’s episode can save this after all
Ediddy: OMG THERE IS A LOVE CALCULATOR COMEDIDDYRCIAL
Slamwich: And did Tea really need to bring her leather jacket to the woods?
Ediddy: haha, im sorry but i love tea’s style. i dig it
Slamwich: To the woods though? The woods? I am too busy dressing for the weather I suppose.
Ediddy: haha yea, well they didnt expect that. thats how she gets betty. that and her northern soul
Ediddy: WADE IN THE WATER IN HER LEATHER
Slamwich: Jazzed up negro spirituals have that affect on people. The water would ruin the weather!
Ediddy: haha omg. the teacher and chris have chemistry
Slamwich: Which is a little creepy. The only time it wasn’t: Ms. Jacobs and Pacey on Dawson’s Creek.
Ediddy: ha and aria and her teach on pretty little liars
Slamwich: I think it’s weird because somehow he seems more together than she does
Ediddy: great song. oh god. tony sucks
Slamwich: Great for summertime. I see why they picked it. The Music Supervisor is doing a great job.
Ediddy: ya he’s good
Slamwich: Oooh are they blending season 1 and season 3? Please let someone get hit with a rock!
Ediddy: haah the mushroom talk. Hahahah. then have sex. rock murder sex
Slamwich: We are saving the show with these innovations
Ediddy: it’s like tony is reading the script, like literally holding it and reading it. lick a toad. haha gross
Slamwich: YES! This is like that scene in sandlot.
Ediddy: that was an exorcist moment for stanley
Slamwich: This episode just took a turn for the better. Slapping, vomit, naked teachers.
Ediddy: haha. always a plus
Slamwich: Now we need someone to get injured, then rock murder sex
Ediddy: perfect. they should also play a florence and the machine song during it all
Slamwich: Yes! Cosmic Love
Ediddy: uh oh night time. sex time
Slamwich: They all use each other for sex and drugs. My friends and I used to drink smirnoff ice in the basement and play scattergories.
Slamwich: Who was that sleeping? Solved.
Ediddy: haha yea
Slamwich: Who kicks Betty out of bed?
Ediddy: haha. tea is confused. i like it. shes interesting
Slamwich: She’s got a little complexity. I like that she frustrates me. Everyone else just annoys me.
Slamwich: God I hope there’s a murderer in the woods
Ediddy: i think she’s the most realistic teenage character
Slamwich: I laughed a lot harder than I thought I would at that “mount my pole” joke
Ediddy: HAHAHA. Yea. we’ve seen daves package wayyy too many times this episode
Slamwich: Way too many times. Yikes City.
Ediddy: ya i feel like tony is stalking tea.
Slamwich: He seems a bit obsessed.
Ediddy: really that was silly
Slamwich: They had a great opportunity there to shift a few things…and then nothing happened.
Slamwich: Tuck that one away, “What you want isn’t how I’m built.” She’s also a robot
Ediddy: hahahahaha. at least they gave that some sort of resolution. i was already sick of him liking her and it’s only been this episode
Slamwich: 45 minutes too long
Ediddy: oy. tanley is still pooping?
Slamwich: Also 45 minutes too long
Ediddy: bahahaha. the weed fist bump. these kids ONLY care about drugs
like it’s the only thing that they actually care about
Slamwich: It’s the way addicts are
Ediddy: all the teens are addicts
Slamwich: And malnourished.
Slamwich: I wish MTV could’ve just aired the UK one. Even censored it would be better.
Ediddy: ya. or maybe if they approached it differntly? BEAR GAYS. yessss
Slamwich: Canadian Bear Gays! And Rangers!
Ediddy: murder rock sex time
Slamwich: The main event!
Ediddy: i always hide under tarps in mysterious vans
Slamwich: Duh! All smart kids do. Oh hell no!
Ediddy: ugh. Well that happened
Slamwich: I hate Tony. And it was too dark to see anything leading up to that.
Ediddy: sweater vest is good in this scene
Slamwich: OH SHIT That’s what I yelled at the TV
Ediddy: he should be dead
Slamwich: For sure. Yeah that was a good scene. Didn’t need it to be resolved like this.
Ediddy: ugh. that was weird
Slamwich: How many people have to be seriously injured before they cancel this trip?
Ediddy: hahaha… screaming tea really? well some of that was good
Slamwich: That would’ve been way better if he screamed from the top of the ropes course. Better than most
Ediddy: yea- better than the other ones for sure. i never feel like much is accomplished
Slamwich: Because whenever they get close to accomplishing something they cut to soemthing stupid
Ediddy: b for msic?
Slamwich: B for the t-shirts. I want one. C for Abbud on the platform. F for Tony. A for the promo for next week.
Ediddy: haha yea. i agree. nicely done
Slamwich: Thanks. I would also like to give an A to the East Coast feed.
Ediddy: haha agreed
I hate how much I love Top Shot.
The guns. The bravado. The ignorance. The accents. The exploding household goods.
And Colby. Oh Colby, you’ve come a long way since Survivor.
Haven’t seen the show? It’s a reality competition show to find the best marksman. I’m embarrassed that I know this.
“God didn’t create all men equal. Smith & Wesson did.” A contestant just said that.
I’m going to go die of shame.
…at least the East Coast feed. Sorry West Coasters, I’m sure you had some great jokes too.
On Jennifer Hudson, Christina Aguilera and the Aretha Franklin tribute.
Train won an Emmy for “Hey Soul Sister.” (I know, right?) Kanye mentioned that one of the guys from train looks like Howie Mandel. It set off a head nod across the internet and “Howie Mandel” was trending within minutes.
The show continued. Lady Gaga’s performance was surprisingly demure. Her outfit and entrance were not.
Then I don’t remember who came next, Cee Lo or Katy Perry. We’ll say it was Cee Lo. He performed “Fuck You” with Gwyneth Paltrow and what appeared to be the cast of Fraggle Rock. I cried fuzzy tears of joy.
Katy Perry performed too. She was on a giant swing and then she danced with some candy hearts. The best part of her performance was actually when Nicole Kidman started singing along and proved to the entire world that her face moves.
Some more awards went by. Then relatively unknown jazz singer, Esperanza Spalding, beat out Justin Bieber and Florence + The Machine for Best New Artist.
The awards and performances kept coming, then we saw a touching tribute to all the musicians who died. Boy there were a lot of them. Then, due to some awful timing Mick Jagger took the stage.
We continued. Eminem won an award. Diddy came out to introduce Drake and Rihanna. He was a little…sparkly.
Rihanna and Drake took the stage. Their set was a bit…primitive.
Then Lady Antebellum won their 3rd award of the night. How long has that album been out? They performed Need You Now on last year’s Grammys. How is this right? #angryface
Arcade Fire performed and gave everyone a seizure that hurt so good. Though if you don’t listen to Arcade Fire you probably hated it.
Yes, yes they are. Get the album jerks. It’s amazing.
And that’s it from the Grammys. Did your favorite artists win? I’m looking forward to next year. Get ready for Adele noms…and hopefully Kanye speeches.
Update: Arcade Fire had this to say: