Hello all edubbers and random, lonely blog browsers! Today we are announcing a very exciting, new initiative here at edub. We have decided to enact a brand-spanking new, weekly installment for your reading pleasure. What could it be, the overzealous, but very cute, reader asks? It is all your dreams and more.
We have decided to create an editor-to-editor, unfiltered, live-blogging TV show g-chat session! We’re officially starting with MTV’s controversial spin-off of the wildly successful and impressive series SKINS. Who’s excited?! Probably not the PTC! Who cares about those geezers anyway? (And if you haven’t seen season 1 of the UK version, there are a few spoiler alerts toward the bottom. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.)
So to kick off this ridiculously exciting, mind-blowing gift to humankind, we present:
EPISODE 2: TEA
Tea stands for too many inane slang terms and a ridiculous amount of shock-induced commentary on persecution.
Ediddy: shall we “officially” begin
Slamwich: i heard the noise! I think I have to be in a different window. yes! I’m ready
Ediddy: but seriously MTV with the age limit… that’s just frustrating. ok i dont want to start of from a place of anger.
Slamwich: I wonder if they would’ve had that for undressed
Ediddy: you know i loved undressed
Slamwich: no one said anything about undressed
Ediddy: it’s the gay ep. of course they would do that.
Slamwich: The show was called undressed for gosh sakes
Ediddy: did you hear that taco bell pulled from advertising. mark that as a WIN for skins. those idiots and their law suits
Slamwich: It’s the first non-beef beef taco. You’re welcome PETA
Ediddy: it’s death in a shell
Slamwich: Mmmm a delicious crispy shell
Ediddy: haha right
Slamwich: TV-MA warning. Watching last week’s scenes
Slamwich: Theme song!
Ediddy: i want to take a busload of pills
Slamwich: Who doesn’t?
Ediddy: uk theme song is way better
Slamwich: I want the UK theme song to be my ringtone
Ediddy: most definitely. i will say they hit the “hot” part of “hot lesbian” right
Slamwich: What does Northern Soul mean?
Slamwich: Is that a thing?
Ediddy: northern soul is a type of music…ya, like mod music, like fast paced r and b, aka this song
Slamwich: Were those pills or candies?
Ediddy: hahahahahah. pillz. im guessing speed. oh shes sassy. i also wish i was cool enough to do that with my laces and converse. shown up by a teen again
Slamwich: This girl likes EVERYBODY! She’s a Papi in training.
Ediddy: i just spit out a pasta. and they are having sex
Slamwich: Did she just go home with that woman? Whhaaaaa?!
Ediddy: ok wait up. are they in high school?
Slamwich: Oh that girl looked much older at night
Ediddy: hahaha ya. no thats the kid from her class. oh hay shes a jewish lesbian
Slamwich: The dad looks just like Tony’s dad. I think they’re saving on “dad looking” actors
Ediddy: “werent you the tomboy that liked to climb trees”
Slamwich: That screams young teenage lesbian
Ediddy: right, who’s young white son is that
Slamwich: “The L Word upsets grandma.”
Ediddy: in more ways than one. the straight girl called her boobs puppies. just sayin
Slamwich: Does anyone actually say that?
Ediddy: i dont
Slamwich: LOTTA LICKIN?????
Ediddy: HAHAHA. That dad is awesome. i like daisy – they are cute as friends
Slamwich: She seems nice. A little heavy with the innuendos and puns.
Ediddy: A LITTLE
Ediddy: i love this music. this “northern soul” hahaha. but really
Slamwich: Oh is that what this is? I’m learning new things.
Ediddy: cadie is by far the best character
Slamwich: I’m calling her Black Cassie. Blassie
Ediddy: yea thats what it is – like upbeat, dance r and b – it’s a brit thing. oh yesssss. blassie it is. i can’t get over how much Tony looks like Bruno Mars. i love blassie
Slamwich: Finn from Glee +Bruno Mars = That kid that plays Tony
Slamwich: AHH LIKE MINDS!
Ediddy: chris and his hair. also, i think chris tries to look like a rainbow. oh teenagers and bright colors
Slamwich: These kids were 9 when that Super Bowl happened. That joke was a reach.
Ediddy: definite reach. also the make out sesh. foul
Ediddy: i sort of love this teacher
Slamwich: I love this cast of nuts he gathered.
Ediddy: right. what a gang
Slamwich: This just got weird.
Slamwich: Oh wait, that’s the drug dealer
Ediddy: yea. still weird
Slamwich: Totally forgot what he looked like.
Ediddy: i have that hoodie that stanleys wearing. you know just smokin a cig in the bathroom
Ediddy: also, can i just say, im really glad they put the straight girl in the argyle sweater and not tea
Slamwich: Tea dresses like Uncle Jesse
Ediddy: HAHAHA. she kind of does. it’s part of her nothern soul. did she just pull out a mini bottle of alcohol? that was awesome.
Slamwich: Is she drinking at school?
Slamwich: I knew kids who made vodka lemonades in Math class senior year.
Ediddy: bettys scarf is unacceptable. yeah, my friend was big on vod in her evian
Slamwich: Betty may be president of the Junior League in her free time.
Ediddy: tea has that woozy look DOWN. Hahahahahahaa. totally
Slamwich: Is that supposed to be her sister?
Ediddy: i have no idea. she looks out of place. oy nana. oh man, i had that audrey poster. this is not happening
Slamwich: To Audrey freakin’ Hepburn….and NANA. REALLY SKINS??!
Ediddy: hahahahaha skins just went black swan on us. “i want the sex” is hands down the greatest line ever.
Slamwich: Who talks like this to their grandma?
Ediddy: i think it’s cause she’s a bit cuckoo
Slamwich: What is this music
Ediddy: NOT northern soul. im snoring too nana im snoring too. jk that was deep
Ediddy: i dig this relationship. dad and daughter. this is nice.
Slamwich: He seems like a nice guy. I think I like Maxxie’s dad better. He taught dog’s to dance.
Ediddy: thats true. hard to top that… creeeeeepy apple man. mob ties are so clutch
Slamwich: I wish my mom would pay me to go on dates.
Ediddy: seriously – im not digging this new effy
Slamwich: Haven’t seen much of her
Ediddy: yea. playground drunken fun with adr laughter, this is too much. omg she puked
Slamwich: Just watching this makes me want to ralph
Slamwich: and then she did!
Ediddy: yea the spinning could stop. although it’s cool visually
Slamwich: The actors had to hate this
Ediddy: haha. i love tea
Slamwich: Pluck the lady harp… this Tony is something else. No one thinks of this stuff at 16
Ediddy: i know – the slang/puns/words. not workin. what’s going on here. what are they even talking about.
Slamwich: it’s lke code
Ediddy: oh dear, are they NORTHERN SOULING?
Slamwich: NEGRO SPIRITUALS!
Ediddy: yea i can dig this
Slamwich: No one dances to slave songs and gets away with it
Ediddy: hahaha good call. semi-inappropriate. this is actually why taco bell backed out. oh hay cartwheels in dresses. he is trying a little too hard to hit his moves
Slamwich: 4-year-old style
Ediddy: gross. this hook up
Slamwich: You know who could’ve done Tony’s roll 5 years ago? Penn Badgely
Ediddy: ya good call… um hold up
Slamwich: Really Tea? Respect Yo’ Self
Ediddy: hahaha. no joke. oh thank god. laugh it off girl. we all make mistakes
Slamwich: That was…30 seconds long
Ediddy: wait im confused. they actually had sex? or did they stop?
Slamwich: I thought they did. Should I rewind or is that pervy?
Ediddy: let’s do it. for the sake of research. i went back to the kiss
Slamwich: Okay, we’re dancing, we’re dancing,
Ediddy: yeah i think the face pain is supposed to indicate that they did it, but woah, that was fast
Slamwich: No wonder she complained.
Ediddy: that was a cute moment, the “they must be stupid.” “sometimes” bit… so they just bumped and did it. shes gonna get preggo. hello spinoff
Slamwich: Ooh I hope not.
Ediddy: lesbian and a baby
Slamwich: Teen Mom Skins. It would combine the best of MTV
Ediddy: lesbian teen mom. Seriously. i cant take this drug dealer seriously. /still creepy
Slamwich: The Dad just scored some points with me.
Ediddy: yea dads awesome
Slamwich: Good job Super Dad
Ediddy: oh audrey
Slamwich: Did she just talk to Audrey?
Ediddy: you know it. this audrey-nana-tea thing, im sensing a theme, uh oh this is gonna be serious
Slamwich: Negro Spirituals AND Holocaust stories??? #superbowlofsuffering
Ediddy: gay holocaust stories. nana just said queers
Slamwich: Oh no way! They are laying it on thick.
Ediddy: (best hashtag ever, btw)
Slamwich: If she dies in this bed, I won’t be surprised.
Ediddy: no joke /this is poignant
Slamwich: Nana’s love is in Wisconsin
Ediddy: a farmer of course
Slamwich: I will find her when I’m home next week.
Ediddy: i have to say they are finding new ways to talk about old themes i guess…and with the DAGGER… RUTHIE
Slamwich: It would’ve been more poignant if we hadn’t just seen two teens swing dance to negro spirituals
Ediddy: ya that put you off for sure
Ediddy: rocking the letterman. oh of course, tea and michelle are bffs. Did she just say it’s nice to “be jumped like that”?
Slamwich: I thought she said “Boys can be dumb like that” sometimes. Betty FTW!
Ediddy: word… good, follow up the homophobia with a fag joke
Slamwich: Yeah, that wasn’t the best approach.
Ediddy: oh jesus. k word. our n word. should i be angry?
Slamwich: This episode is running on all the persecution cylinders tonight
Ediddy: seriously. what just happened
Slamwich: They wrapped up the Stanley story line
Ediddy: hahahahahha. “i matched you” is not a thing. NOT a thing
Slamwich: Ahh my recording cut off!
Ediddy: OH NO. where were you
Slamwich: The last thing I got was ” I matched you.”
Ediddy: oh ok. betty called. Tea said she had to go to tony. then ignored betty. and is now dancing to slave music. music is her anti-drug. and tony looks sad
Slamwich: NOBODY WINS!
Ediddy: that’s it. Wow. what an episode
Slamwich: Tea is too hard to please
Ediddy: next week is Chris. looks 100% the same as the UK one. his mom leaves and he stays with the teacher
Slamwich: Which I am okay with. I liked that storyline.
Ediddy: agreed. chris is cool.
Ediddy: so final thoughts?
Slamwich: The acting is by no means strong. But this week’s episode was definitely better than last week’s.
Ediddy: thats true. i stick to the point that cadies will be the best. teas interesting at least
Slamwich: Yeah she has a lot of layers. I don’t know if we needed all of them crammed into one episode or not.
Ediddy: thats the problem. it’d work as a series. exploring her life id say. but so much for 40 minutes, it short changes everything
Slamwich: Yeah she could hold her own. Which I don’t think I’m going to say for all the other ones.
Ediddy: yea thats true. im already bored of tony
Slamwich: Yeah I was kind of happy when he got run over by the bus in the UK version. I would be alright if that happened again. He could die this time. Put Effy in sooner. Make the friends struggle a little bit. If they drink this much now, just wait until their ringleader dies.
Ediddy: thatd be interesting. haha
Ediddy: well you think you’ll stick with it? im all for it
Slamwich: I’m 2 eps in now! I’ll probably keep watching.
Ediddy: they certainly tried to pack the shock in. hahahaha. we were both attacked in that one
Slamwich: They did. We get it Skins: You’re bold.
Ediddy: ha. i am obviously taking this show personally. it was a blatant attack on jewish lesbians
with black friends
Slamwich: I’ve already started my strongly worded letter
Ediddy: on nice stationary i presume
Slamwich: And speaking of which, these kids are living in Baltimore: Where are their black friends???
Ediddy: haha. Word. blassie does not count
Slamwich: Neither does racially ambiguous Betty.
Ediddy: hahaha. do you think she’ll be back?
Slamwich: I originally thought yes, but now that I think about it, probably not.
Ediddy: i know it’s weird – because in a normal show she would. but since they obviously change the story so much. she probably wont
Slamwich: Yeah. But she won’t have a place in anyone else’s episode.
Ediddy: well a+ for queer identity on tv. c for story. f for slang
Slamwich: F for the use of wade in the water, B+ for the use of the word “puppies”, A for supportive dads
And there you have it folks. Did you make it through? Did you care to even look?
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