Archive for January, 2008

Most Awkward Interview Ever

I found this on LAist via Scanner. It’s an interview with actress Dani Maura. If the name doesn’t sound familiar, it’s probably because she’s more widely know and Chelsey, Kelsey or Ashley. That’s right, Dani plays the pedophile bait on To Catch A Predator.

The interview with her is tragically awkward. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a journalist be so funny on accident. It’s almost approaching the level of that grape-stomping reporter. One of the questions she asks is:

When you go out in public do you ever start to suspect random people of being pedophiles?

But in the journalist’s defense, the material she’s covering is pretty comical. It turns out Dani is getting her own reality show, wants to be a singer and she has lupus. Who knew?

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Golden Girls Scandal!

I watched three episodes of Golden Girls today on a fluke. I don’t usually tune in to Lifetime, but something, I don’t even remember what, lured me to it. Golden Girls was on before I went to work and a double header came on once I got home. Hot.

I forgot just how wonderfully funny that show was! Blanche was a hussy, Rose was a little slow but good intentioned, Dorothy was old school. My favorite find? Sofia.

We can talk about how funny she is later, but what I think is crazy is how old she is, and by old I mean young.

Estelle Getty was born on July 25, 1923, which makes her 84 years-old. She looked 84 on Golden Girls, so this is not too shocking. More shocking? Bea Arthur, who played Sofia’s daughter Dorothy was born on May 13…1922.

WHAAAAA? Yes, Bea Arthur is over a year older than Estelle Getty. This boggles my mind. Thinking about this is like looking at an M.C. Escher painting. I need to lie down.

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AMC Breaks Bad Habits

When is the last time you watched AMC? I forgot the channel existed, and when I do think about it, I confuse it with Turner Classic Movies. AMC is oft-forgotten, a channel lost amid the shuffle of go-to networks like TNT, TBS and Bravo. But this season, they’re the little engine that could.

They’ve received critical acclaim for their hit show Mad Men, a program following the lives of alpha-male advertising honchos in the 1960s. John Hamm is brilliant on it, but we’re not talking about that this time.

Instead I’ve decided to focus on Breaking Bad, AMC’s new show about a dying chemistry teacher who decides to go into business with a former student…making crystal meth. It’s a grittier, darker version of Weeds. More intensity, bigger stakes and with better acting. The show stars Bryan Cranston, the dad on Malcolm and the Middle. He’s stretching his legs for this show and so far it’s working out brilliantly. Cranston and the show will probably rack up some serious praise come awards season next year. Mark my words.

Breaking Bad is on AMC and like the premium channels, you can catch it pretty much all week long, though the episodes premeire on Sundays.

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Things I Wish Were TV Shows

New Kids on the Block are getting back together and going on a reunion tour. The has-been status, no one recognizing them at the airport, the shitty hotels, former fans with kids, old women throwing underwear on stage…the possibilities are endless.

They have jobs and kids, families to go back to now. I bet they can’t sing as well as they used to either. That first tune-up is probably going to be rough. Why can’t we all be there to witness it?

Dear Producers,
If you can greenlight some of the most ridiculous shows on television, please contact NKOTB and get the wheels in motion. VH1 has room in their schedule.



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SAG Awards Tonight!

The Screen Actors Guild Awards are tonight! Finally, a chance to watch people in pretty dresses except awards for doing their jobs. It’s like your company’s holiday party with $3,000 gift bags. I love it!

I entered a pool on BuzzSugar to predict tonight’s winners. The SAG Awards are a wild card because the actor’s vote. So while Edie Falco may have only been okay in the last season of the Soprano’s, she may get more votes out of sympathy and cumulative career points.

Here are my picks for tonight’s TV categories. They’re long shots, but if I get them right, I can win a year’s worth of Netflix. (Because I need another excuse to watch TV on DVD.)

Male Actor In a Telefilm or Minseries
Kevin Kline, As You Like It

Female Actor In A Telefilm or Miniseries
Queen Latifah, Life Support

Actress In a Drama Series
Edie Falco, The Sopranos

Actor In a Drama Series
Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Actor In a Comedy Series
Ricky Gervais, Extras

Actress In a Comedy Series
Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Drama Ensemble
The Sopranos

Comedy Ensemble
30 Rock

If you want to see the nominees and check out who the people on BuzzSugar are picking, go here. The show starts at 8/7 C on TBS and TNT.

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I was watching Grey’s Anatomy tonight. I know, I know. I said I quit. And I did. But there was nothing on TV and I got sucked in on a one-liner. But truth be told, I was glad I watched. It’s probably not for the reasons you think. 

I still hate Yang. I don’t want to hear about Lexie Grey, and George is a fool for leaving a fox like Callie for an annoying bitch like Izzie. But I digress. 
I enjoyed tonight’s episode because it featured a guest appearance by my favorite old-man actor, Edward Herrmann. On Grey’s he plays the old-man intern Norman, who starts medical school after 30 years as a pharmacist. Herrmann is better known to our generation as Mr. Rich in the Richie Rich movie, and Grandpa Richard Gilmore on Gilmore Girls.
I was reminded of how much I enjoyed Herrmann’s acting and comedic timing when I watched a recent episode of 30 Rock. His stint on Grey’s only solidified my thoughts. He always gets stuck playing the uppity, know-it-all rich white guy, but he does it with a charm that makes The Man so much more tolerable. 
Kudos to you Ed. That’s a feat very few people could manage. 

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There’s a new show on truTV (that’s the old Court TV for the uninitiated) called Ocean Force: Huntington Beach. It’s an actuality show that follows lifeguard working on Huntington Beach. Daring rescues, life and death situations, missing children…it’s all happening in a half hour, and on the beach no less. I guess I miss all the action while I’m eating sandwiches and building sandcastles.

The show is pretty exciting…as far as lifeguarding shows go. In fact, it’s only missing one thing; a catchy tagline.

When I saw the commercials for the show, I thought they’d at least use one of these. But shockingly, they went with: Real Lifeguards Saving Real Lives. don’t want them to go to waste, so I thought I’d share them with you.

  • Ocean Force: The Real Sea E.Os
  • Ocean Force: The Biggest Board Room of them all (Get it? Surfboard? The Ocean? No?)
  • Ocean Force: All in A Wave’s Work (Okay, I don’t even Like That One)

But I don’t see you coming up with anything! Think of some good ones. If we get enough, we shold e-mail them to the show…or just compile the list on the blog.

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Well I Can’t Say I’m Surprised

Kristen Cavallari, the original hater on Laguna Beach, is having the tattoo of her ex-boyfriend’s initials removed from her arm.

Reasons why this is not shocking:
1. She put the initials on her wrist.This is kind of an unattractive place unless you’re a rock star, motorcycle enthusiast or a tatoo artist yourself.

2. She was dating this clown, Nick Zano. He may be attractive, but he looks like a douche and they could be brother and sister.

3. She’d only been dating the aforementioned douche for about a hot minute. Without a wedding ring and 25 years, there’s no way you should get someone’s intitals carved into your skin. Get a vanity plate next time.

4. Anyone that says ” What happens in Cabo stays in Cabo” before they even turn 18 is probably going to make a mistake involving a tattoo.

I hope they cover this when Kristen joins the cast of The Hills…rumor of course.

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Can We Talk About Moment Of Truth?

The game show everyone’s talking about premiered tonight. Mark L. Wahlberg, (not to be confused with Marky Mark/Mark Wahlberg) was back in his element after taking a break from hsoting such gems as “Test The Nation 2” and “Joe Millionaire.”

The contestants were skeezy, annoying, and cocky…and that was before they answered the questions. The first guy admitted to thinking he’s the best looking guy out of his group of friends. The second admitted to stuffing his pants to look more endowed and looking through his co-worker’s desk. Their significant others were there. I think the show makes them look worse than the men.

And the game play is frustrating to say the least. The contestants get asked 50 questions while hooked up to a polygraph. The producers pick 21 of those questions and ask them again in front of the audience and the camera. So none of it is a surprise to the person in the chair, yet 40% of the show is annoying hesitation and unnecessary delays. A game show that’s an hour long is already taking itself too seriously. One that can’t even get two contestants through the game is just BS.

So my final verdict? It’s an interesting concept, but ultimately, I’d rather watch something with a little more skill and fewer obnoxious people. The worst part? The show comes on after Idol which means it’s ratings will be exaggerated. We’re not getting rid of this show…unless someone dies.

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Casting All Crazies!

Want to break into reality TV? There are lots of opportunities out there and all of them crossed my desk in the past day. All five of you get to reap the benefits.

VH1 is casting young people to compete for the job of a life time…P. Diddy’s personal assistant. What?? You saw how he treated his would-be talent when he made the Making The Band kids traverse New York to get him cheesecake. Imagine what his personal assistant will have to do? Those people are gluttons for punishment, scary go-getters, or fuckin’ nuts.

This is so VH1. I guess they’re also starting a show called Celebracadra. Guess what that’s about.

My very favorite reality show of all time is coming back and casting as I write. There are open calls in Austin, Chicago, L.A., Nashville, NYC, and Philly. Or you can make a tape. I seriously might audition. I would have to be the Mole though. I just don’t think I’m observant enough to compete.

But if none of those pique your interest, go ahead and apply for My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad. I wish I were kidding.

I want scripted TV back. Now.

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Big Gig

Big Love star Chloe Sevigny (center) took a new job at U.K. Elle as Style Advisor. No one can say she didn’t branch out during the Writers Strike.

No, she doesn’t always dress like that. Take a peak at her cover.

I don’t know a lot about Sevigny, but I never heard she was so into fashion.

I bet Bill Paxton moonlights as a tornado chaser. The storms are a part of him now.

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It’s MLK Day! While most people, myself included, will spend today watching TV, staying warm, shopping, drinking or crying about the Packers (seriously why???), Martin Luther King Day should be a day on not a day off.

So if you’re not volunteering in your community or single-handedly uplifting a people, at least take the time to learn a little Black history. Here’s the TV version…abridged.

1928: The Amos ‘n Andy radio show premieres. The show features white actors mocking voicing African-American characters for comedic value. The program is later turned into a TV show featuring Black actors. While it was one of the first shows with an all-Black cast, the show was still highly derogatory.

1956: Nat King Cole becomes the first African-American TV host.

1965: Bill Cosby stars in NBC’s action-thriller I Spy. Cosby’s the first African-American to have a leading role in a drama series.

1968: Diahann Carroll plays a widowed nurse in the breakout hit Julia. While the show featured a professional African-American woman, her boss and other figures of authority were still primarily White.

1971: Young people get an alternative to American Bandstand when Soul Train premieres.

1980: BET launches on January 25. A channel so innovative uplifting is now our source for Hell Date.

1989: Family Matters, a loose spin-off of Perfect Strangers, premiers. Not ground breaking, but Steve Urkel starts a trend of hilarious Black geeks, providing self confidence and kneeslapping idols for kids like me everywhere.

1990: Kenan Ivory Wayans and half of his family start In Living Color, a popular sketch comedy show. It launches the careers of Jim Carey, Damon Wayans and J-Lo. Kenan Ivory Wayans has yet to apologize for that last one.

1999: Eddie Murphy creates a claymation show about a Black family living in the projects called The PJs. It sets Black History back decades.

2005: Aaron McGruder’s popular comic strip, The Boondocks, is turned into a TV show for Cartoon Network’s late-night adult block of programming. One episode tackles what would have happened if MLK had lived. Like most of the episodes, it was very smart and hilarious but Al Sharpton got pissed. Not surprising.

More to come in February for Black History Month. Don’t act like you’re not excited.

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